help me

Is there life after work? I keep hoping there is. My folks had this very reality-check-type thing they used to say "live in hope & die in despair".
Now why they would say something like that to a kid is a whole other blog -- but that phrase seems like my life right now.
Help! How do I get outta this rut.

How much is too much?

I was at the parlour yesterday, getting myself tortured for a fee, and with with only some (seriously) outdated magazines to take my mind off the pain. And out of all the movie gossip, women power and politics englightening ones, I found myself reaching for this health mag. Not because I have even one health-consious bone in my body but because of a headline that screamed out to me -- "Is your sex life in need of help?"

Hmm....I pondered...IS my sex life in need of help?? It had to be, if I picked up the damn magazine 'cause of that headline. See now for all its worth, I always considered myself blessed with a pretty healthy appetite for the carnal pleasures in life. However, my somebody special, henceforth to be referred to as SS has a theory -- "If we have sex too often, you're going to get bored of it...and hence bored of me."

My intial response -- "What the fuck SS? Don't be an ass -- there is no such thing as too much sex!" And after all I told SS, our relationship is not just based on sex. There's love -- mutual and in abundance might I add, respect as well as absolute enjoyment in being with each other (even when fully clothed).
And thankfully since both of us prefer to keep our respective body parts in their respective items of clothing -- adultery doesn't figure in this equation.

So my next question is -- "How much is too much sex SS? Is 'too much' getting it on like rabbits every time we get the opportunity and sometimes even when we don't? Or is it like a number -- 5 times or 9 times a day?
The answer --- am still waiting for one, actually.

Hmmm...so, if this theory holds any water, we have 2 choices

1. Ration it out so it'll last us our lifetimes - God help us if we live to be octagenerians
   
2. Or just go crazy, and burnout in a few years?

Now I don't like either of the two options cuz they both are equally crappy.


But really, can our relationship fizzle out simply because we've had too much sex with each other?! I've certainly heard of relationships that have died simply because "all the passion went out of it" -- Yup...seems like the burnout category.

Then there is the insecurity argument. Is SS so insecure about us that he truly believes I will get bored if we have too much sex? How can I then comprehend people who have gone on to celebrate 40 and 50 years of being together. I mean there are only so many positions after which repetition is bound to occur!

Am still grappling with this one.

Basic Instinctless

What? What? What? -- were they thinking when they threw together the sequel to Basic Instinct?? I mean let's face it, the first one was no master piece, tho' thanks to Zee Studio and my lack of any kind of decent social activity/interaction, I now even know some of the dialogues! But then my lack of anything better to do has not blinded me to the mediocrity bordering on pure bad film-making - BI 1 that is. BI-2 is another story (not to be read literally) altogether. That movie beautifully places itself with no trouble at all in the putrid category. If I were ever to fill someone's slam-book (remember those idiotic questions in that idiotic book, of which I had two) again, Basic Instict 2 would be my answer to the movies that have moved me to tears!

I swear, I was ready to cry at Stone's ridiculous 4 words per minute dialogue delivery. Coupled with the constant I'm-so-evil-but-I-know-U-want-to-do-me-right-now look that was so contrived -- Put together they were enough to get those tear ducts going. Right from the beginning the movie is slow, phenomenally affected and has been directed by what I can only imagine to be a light boy. The lead actor, whatever his name is was TERRIBLE. He wasn't even able to muster up the lust he was supposed to be feeling for Ms. The whole world wants to do me. Aaargggh! Why was this bloody movie made and why o why did I go for it?!

If your watching on DVD - there's more than your fill of tits and ass -- but in Indian cinemas well you'd be sorely disappointed thanks to our censor board -- which personally I believe didn't do its job at all -- if there was even one person with ANY sense on it, they wouldn't have allowed this movie to be shown because IT'S JUST SO BAD.

Anyway, as my friends and I suffered through this movie, I couldn't help but feel that as an actress Stone as become worse with age. She wasn't Oscar winning material in any of her other movies, but I thought she was passable. And though there's no doubt that at 48 her body can put any 20 year olds to shame -- this time it wasn't enough.

My two cuties

Parents speak

It's about 3 mins to 1 in the morning and I'm not sleeping -- nor feeling the least bit sleepy. No surprise there. This not-so-new job (I've lasted 6 months in this one) has turned my freakin' life upside down. Sleeping when normal people are out there earning their livings and staring at the damn computer when all my friends and family are tucked away cozily in bed. Really makes me wonder sometimes --- our world is going crazy. I mean I was brought up to believe that when the sun went down you were supposed to be home -- in fact my dad even had this weird thing about me being home before the streetlights came on (??!!) Imagine my plight when the bastards used to switch on the streetlights sometimes at 6 in the evening -- giving absolutely no thoughts to children of parents who had this unexplainable rule!

But a few years ago I found out my folks and their (sometimes) crazy rules were not that different from the other parents rules.
In fact my friends and I have actually had conversations on the secret parent's club that hands out this 'rule and dialogue' handbook to new parents. Let's see...here's some of the stuff I remember

1. Do what you want! Translation -- THE ANSWER IS ABSOLUTELY NO!!! Defy me at your own peril!

2. If you swallow a fruit seed, that tree is going to grow in your stomach and the branches are going to come outta your ears. -- That one didn't last too long. Thanks to their own mistake of sending me to school, I figured out pretty fast, my own self-made orchard would not be coming anytime soon.

3. Coming the final exam and I'd hear these words "You know the 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th, 11th & 12th Stds are the most important years in your school life and you must take them seriously" -- the following year "You're going to regret studying 'cause the 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th, 11th & 12th Stds are the most important years in your school life".
I swear I think I heard this every single year of my school life.

Next day -- funnily enough I did feel sleepy. And now I'm back to finish off the rest of the blog.

4. "We know what's best for you" - - I love my parents and everything, but they sometimes really didn't know what was 'best' for me at the time -- but then maybe even I didn't know what was best for me either.

5. "The day you have your own kids you'll understand" - Kinda tough to get a 14-year-old to understand that bit, especially when they've had a rocking good time with friends and just forgot to notice when the streetlights came on -- there's that one again!

6. "He's a boy and you're a girl" -- Umm...thank you for that enlightening piece of info that has been drilled into me ever since I could understand that men and women are two different kinds of humans. But hey!! I really don't think its fair for parents to contribute to something that I would be told and made to feel all my life.
In retrospect, perhaps the only concession I'll make for my parents saying this was when I tried to imitate the way my brother peed.

--It's surprising how, after (nearly) 27 years of my life, I can still hear the way my parents would say certain things to me. There are a few of them I still hear today, but all-in-all I think my folks have been great, and at the risk of sounding arrogant, they've really done a great job with their kids -- handbook or not!!

THE SYSTEM

I received my passport a few days ago and it nearly moved me to tears.
Not because of any misplaced sense of euphoria (even I'm not that lame) but because finally, finally the passport office deigned to have me receive it.

I hate the system!
I hate the fact that we have to behave subserviantly to people in govermental positions who use their jobs to weild some kind of goddamn self-created power!
I hate the fact that nearly everything in my country is a struggle...from travelling to work on pot holes (please, lets not even for a second mistake the craters we travel on as roads), to getting a bloody passport -- something I would have thought was my goddamn constitutional right!!

I thought I'd write this huge blog chronicling the damn fiasco that was to be my passport renewal but the whole process has sapped me of any energy -- add some generous portions of laziness to that fatigue and -- well I'd rather forget about that episode than re-live it on my blog.

The bottomline --- THE SYSTEM SUCKS!

That special day is here!

Finally....I've gotten off my sorry, lazy ass and decided to write my first blog. That's of course discounting the sad "Testing 1.2.1" attempt.
Honestly have no wild notions that others are going to visit my blog, except my best friend who I know won't let me down (awww!!), so am gonna go all out with what I want/always wanted to say!
Ummm...well....uuuhhh....(shit the bloody mind's not working again)
Can't really think of anything to write about. But then it's firggin' 3:30 am -- I'm at work and nothings happening here either. So there that's my excuse for today. Cheerios for tonight then -- am happy to have made it past the under-10 letter mark!

Testing 1.2.1